So, anyone that has been around me in the past year (maybe even a little bit longer...) has heard that I have been going through the process to serve in the Peace Corps. And with that being said, anyone who has been around in the last 4 months or so has heard the nearly constant back and forth I have gone through about if I should go or if I should stay. All of that now puts us here. 3 weeks till the day I am supposed to load up my bags, fly to Philadelphia, meet other K19 volunteers and head to Kyrgyz Republic. But let's back up a couple months to get a full perspective on how this all came to be.
Rewind to Spring 2010.
I just finished the final draft of my Master's thesis and literally had no idea what to do with my life after graduation. I had entertained the idea of accepting an awesome opportunity to intern with the Fulbright Commission in Romania and had even gone through the process to apply and be accepted into that program. But then one random afternoon Dr. Karen Taylor was able to get the Peace Corps recruiter to come and talk to the cohort about what opportunities there were from recent young Master's graduates. This part becomes somewhat key to everything that develops over the next year. The recruiter tells us that they are in DESPERATE need of volunteers to teach at Universities in Eastern Europe. She tells us about her service in Romania and how it was a great experience. She even said they had the chance to rush applications though because they needed volunteers so badly. Obviously my interest was peaked. Hello, Eastern Europe + teaching at a University + awesome resume builder?! Sign this girl up! I speak more with the recruiter and she encourages me to apply again telling me how easy I will be placed at a University since so few applicants have the experience teaching at the college level. Over the next couple of weeks, I defended my thesis, I applied to PC and overall enjoy the end of grad school at a level I didn't even know was possible.
Pause while I start the explanation of how things start to get iffy with what I am told and what actually happens with PC. My original recruiter shared her applicant load with another recruiter and somewhere in that shuffle a new person was assigned to my file. It took WEEKS for her to contact me and it was only after a few emails to my original woman did I finally get in touch with my actual person and get the interview process in motion. Let me skip over some of the mundane details here and say:
1. Long interview with lots of questions about my background, my preferences, skills, and my desire to be a volunteer.
2. Short time passes and I get a call back saying that I am being nominated. NOT for Eastern Europe but for Central Asia. I think, ok, this is still do-able. I did know there was a chance that I wasn't going to get Eastern Europe and that is fine, flexibility is key.
3. I find out that I don't have enough "experience" teaching English and that I will need to do 30+ hours of tutoring to fulfill their needs. I think hm, sorta strange since I have been teaching in my own classroom for 5 semesters, but OK, again, doable. I set up my plan of attack and get things rolling.
4. I then find out that I am being nominated for Secondary teaching position and not a University position. I question my recruiter on this and she says that it will be in the hands of placement after I complete my hours and my medical review (I won't go into the medical review process, but just know it was long and stressful).
5. I complete my 30+ hours and send in my completion information. BAM! Placement contacts me for final stages of the application process. Yes!
6. I speak to my Placement officer and she tells me that they are for sure going to invite me for a Secondary position and that all the University positions are filled. I question this, but hesitate because I have been told multiple times that if I say no to them, my application will be kicked out. She also tells me that my experience isn't what they are looking for since all Uni volunteers must have an MA in English. My MA of intercultural comm somehow fell short. This highly irritates me, because that isn't what I had been told all along AND it isn't what their websites lists as requirements, but OK, again, I want to do this, so I let it go.
7. I accept the invitation and my placement officer puts my packet in the mail.
8. The day that I receive my packet that holds the key to my future coincides with the day that I meet an amazing boy. This boy quickly becomes a very important part of my day to day life and soon becomes a major part of my support network.
9. My packet tells me that I will be serving in Kyrgyz Republic leaving on March 25th, 2011. (It is mid-November at this point, so I have a few months to let it all soak in)
10. I call everyone that I need to and make the announcement that I will be going to Kyrgyz. Many had the same response of "Say huh? Say where? Come again?" or my favorite response from Marisa when I told her I would be flying to Bishkek: "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"
So, there I am. Mid-November, starting to date a super great guy and looking at all the information that is being sent my way from PC. My first indication something may be wrong with my desire to serve came from my inability to complete the aspiration statement. The big essay that explains WHY you want to do this. I could not come up with the answers. The boy supportively listens on numerous occasions and even helps me brainstorm answers to the 5 questions, BUT still, I can not bring myself to write this essay. (I say the boy, but I must give credit to numerous other key figures in my life that listened to hours of my back and forth on this essay. Without them, I would have been lost so many times.) I start to think I may be making a wrong choice. In this time frame I also fly to Pittsburgh to surprise my friend for her 22nd birthday. In that week I decide that I really may be making the wrong choice and PC may not be what I want. I dislike the idea of teaching Secondary and grow more frustrated with the fact I had been told one thing and they did something different. But I passively let the days pass by and ignore the problem. I just choose not to send anything in and wait to see how I feel later on.
Retrospectively this was not the right choice, but I honestly could not bring myself to make a decision. There was so much weighing in. The long application, the effort that I had invested in going, the opportunity to do something few have the chance to do vs. best friends weddings, family gatherings, giving up the only life I have known, and finally giving up the boy (I would like to disclaimer at this point that he is NOT the reason that I waivered on my decision to serve. So many people have "accused" me of questioning going because of my feelings for him. I adamantly say that there are MULTIPLE factors that were at play and while, yes, naturally, he was one of them, it was 100% not the only thing that had me doubting.)
So, then the email comes from my country desk saying that they are waiting on my paperwork. The ol' essay that I couldn't bring myself to complete. Shoot! They found me out. I quickly write it and send it in because really, maybe, I do want to do this. MAYBE. But I still couldn't decide. Again, I will skip the details and just say that lots and lots of debate went into figuring things out. Lots of phone calls to friends, late night chats with the boy, crying to my Mom, and listening to advice given to me by anyone that would listen. So, I decide. I am going to let fate choose for me. If they are able to give me the University position that I want, then yes, I will go, but if they keep me on the path of middle school/high school teaching then I will turn it down. I have a long chat with my country desk about my concerns of how the process has failed me and that my experience is way more than they are giving me credit for. He agrees, promises to look into it for me and we will go from there. More waiting...
I hear back from him. The news is broken that he talked to Placement and they still don't see me as being skilled enough for a Uni position. There were go folks, the coin flip I was waiting for. Deep Breath! Ok, I am staying in Alaska! I email them back and say, well, it's a no go. I won't be happy. This isn't what I want. I will be content here in AK and thank you very much for everything. That was met with a "WAIT! Let me see what else I can figure out." I just don't respond and I pretty much put it out of my mind. The next 3 weeks go off without a hitch. No crying, no regrets, just contentment with the idea of staying.
Then Monday happened. I wake up to the beep of my email on my phone. I grab it and I have a email from my country desk saying nothing but "Megan, I have good news. Please call me so I can explain". I stare at it in awe. I hadn't heard anything in almost a month. I was happy with my life. I was happy making plans with friends and family. Ugh. I call the boy over and show him the email. With a huge supportive smile he asks if this means that I got a Uni position. I am surprised and say that I assume it does. Then he gets even more excited and says "You know good things come in threes. You also go the HR position." In the month of waiting and thinking I was staying in Alaska, I applied for a HR recruiter position at my current company. I had interviewed and made it to the final stages of everything.
Skip forward to this morning. A mere 3 days from the bomb dropping. I got the HR job. I got the University TEFL teaching position in Kyrgyz. I have it all. I literally do not have a bad option available to me at this point. So, why am I freaking out? Let's revisit the fact that I have t-minus 3 weeks to pack up my life and move to Central Asia for 2.25 years. Give up everything for the opportunity of a life time.
Oh, and it was just announced this morning that PC may be delaying all departures due to government budget problems. Thanks US Government for thinking about shutting down while I am in the midst of making the single biggest life choice I have ever had to make. I really appreciate it.
So here I sit. Big, big decisions and very little time to make them. I have to tell HR if I accept the position tomorrow morning at 1030am. I have approximately 19 hours to figure out my life.
It's now or never time. Here we go...
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